9/17. Chapter:
Sunan Ibn Majah 1887 — Moderate Dowry
Dowries of women
Moderate Dowry in Islam: Umar's Warning Against Excess
Sunan Ibn Majah : 1887
Sunan Ibn MajahHadith Number 1887
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ بْنُ هَارُونَ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَوْنٍ، ح وَحَدَّثَنَا نَصْرُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ الْجَهْضَمِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا يَزِيدُ بْنُ زُرَيْعٍ، حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ عَوْنٍ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سِيرِينَ، عَنْ أَبِي الْعَجْفَاءِ السُّلَمِيِّ، قَالَ قَالَ عُمَرُ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ لاَ تُغَالُوا صَدَاقَ النِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّهَا لَوْ كَانَتْ مَكْرُمَةً فِي الدُّنْيَا أَوْ تَقْوًى عِنْدَ اللَّهِ كَانَ أَوْلاَكُمْ وَأَحَقَّكُمْ بِهَا مُحَمَّدٌ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ مَا أَصْدَقَ امْرَأَةً مِنْ نِسَائِهِ وَلاَ أُصْدِقَتِ امْرَأَةٌ مِنْ بَنَاتِهِ أَكْثَرَ مِنِ اثْنَتَىْ عَشْرَةَ أُوقِيَّةً وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيُثَقِّلُ صَدَقَةَ امْرَأَتِهِ حَتَّى يَكُونَ لَهَا عَدَاوَةٌ فِي نَفْسِهِ وَيَقُولُ قَدْ كَلِفْتُ إِلَيْكِ عَلَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ أَوْ عَرَقَ الْقِرْبَةِ . وَكُنْتُ رَجُلاً عَرَبِيًّا مُوَلَّدًا مَا أَدْرِي مَا عَلَقُ الْقِرْبَةِ أَوْ عَرَقُ الْقِرْبَةِ .
Abu Ajfa As-Sulami Narrated from:
Umar bin Khattab said: 'Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honor and dignity in this world or a sign of Taqwa before Allah, then Muhammad (ﷺ) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives and none of his daughters were given more than twelve uqiyyah. A man may increase dowry until he feels resentment against her and says: “You cost me everything I own,” or, “You caused me a great deal of hardship.”'” (Hassan)
[1] In Musnad Al-Humaidi (23) it is: "And I was a young man."[2] Meaning due to the ambiguity of the expressions: ' Alaqul-Qirbah and ' Araquul-Qirbah . A Qirbah is a very large water skin that only a very strong man could carry. So the meaning is that I gave you everything until I even carried a giant water skin to your family, or, did so much that I even sweated enough to fill such a water skin. In Al-'Ilal wal-Ma'rifatur-Rijāl (no. 95), Ahmad reported regarding this, from Sufyān, who is one of those who narrated this Hadith as recorded by others: "Until I carried a Qirbah from far away."Reference : Sunan Ibn Majah 1887In-book reference : Book 9, Hadith 43English translation : Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1887
Summary of Sunan Ibn Majah Hadith 1887
This Hadith report about moderate dowry in Islam shares the words of Umar bin Khattab. He warned people not to go to extremes with the dowries of women. His reason was clear: if a high dowry were a sign of honor in this world or taqwa before Allah, then the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم would have been more deserving of it. Umar then mentioned that the Prophet did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve Uqiyyah. The report also warns that a heavy dowry can create resentment and hardship. The message is not that dowry has no value. It is that mahr should not become a burden or a source of bitterness.
What we learn from this hadith
- Dowry should not be pushed to extremes.
- A high dowry is not presented here as a sign of taqwa.
- A heavy dowry may lead to resentment and hardship.
