39/15. Chapter:
Sahih Muslim 2184a — Avoid Hurting Feelings in Conversation
The Prohibition Of Two People Conversing Privately To The Exclusion Of A Third Without His Consent
Secret Conversation Hadith: Avoid Hurting the Third Person
Sahih Muslim : 2184a
Sahih MuslimHadith Number 2184a
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَهَنَّادُ بْنُ السَّرِيِّ، قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو الأَحْوَصِ، عَنْ مَنْصُورٍ، ح وَحَدَّثَنَا زُهَيْرُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، وَعُثْمَانُ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَإِسْحَاقُ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، - وَاللَّفْظُ لِزُهَيْرٍ - قَالَ إِسْحَاقُ أَخْبَرَنَا وَقَالَ الآخَرَانِ، حَدَّثَنَا - جَرِيرٌ، عَنْ مَنْصُورٍ، عَنْ أَبِي وَائِلٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " إِذَا كُنْتُمْ ثَلاَثَةً فَلاَ يَتَنَاجَى اثْنَانِ دُونَ الآخَرِ حَتَّى تَخْتَلِطُوا بِالنَّاسِ مِنْ أَجْلِ أَنْ يُحْزِنَهُ " .
`Abdullah Narrated from:
Abdullah reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: If you are three, two amongst you should not converse secretly between yourselves to the exclusion of the other (third one), unti some other people join him (and dispel his loneliness), for it may hurt his feelings.
Reference : Sahih Muslim 2184aIn-book reference : Book 39, Hadith 50USC-MSA web (English) reference : Book 26, Hadith 5421
Summary of Sahih Muslim Hadith 2184a
This Hadith gives the reason behind the rule on secret conversation. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said that if there are three people, two should not converse secretly to the exclusion of the other until they mix with other people, because it may make him sad. This wording makes the social wisdom easy to see. The issue is not only that two people are talking. The issue is that the third person may feel isolated, worried, or hurt. This Hadith about secret conversation teaches emotional care in Islam. It asks Muslims to protect feelings in simple situations. When more people join, the excluded feeling is reduced, and the situation changes.
What we learn from this hadith
- Do not privately converse in a way that excludes the third person.
- The Hadith gives the reason: it may cause sadness.
- When more people join, the concern of exclusion is reduced.
- Muslim manners include care for another person’s feelings.
